Codename GLaDOS

• math test: a farmer plants 7 crops of tomatoes and 3 crops of carrots what is the probablity his moms name is leslie
• history test: the american civil war ended in 1865, explain how this had a defining role in the extinction of dinosaurs
• literature test: explain what the author meant by, "the apple was as red as an apple"
• physics tests: The aliens ate 3.4 doughnuts. Their crumbs fell to the Earth because of gravity. Calculate how many penguins are eating pancakes at the speed of light.

109,560 notes

• no one: wow you look really nice today
• no one: im really glad i know you
• no one: wanna date me?
• no one: youre the smartest person ive ever met
• no one: you have a great taste in music
• no one: i dont think youre weird

38,941 notes

• Me: Why am I still single?
• Brain: You're weird as shit, lol.
• Body: And you're fat lmao.
• Face: Plus you're pretty ugly too.
• Food: Don't worry babe, I'm here for you.

86,188 notes

Gus don't be...

• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be a silly goose.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be a crazy hooligan.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be a rabid porcupine.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be a giant snapping turtle.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be an incorrigible Eskimo pie with a caramel ribbon.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be a myopic chihuahua.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be William Zabka from "Back To School".
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be this crevice in my arm.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be a paranoid schizophrenic.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be a melted chocolate chip cookie.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be such a gloomy you.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be an old sponge with hair on it.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be exactly one half of an eleven pound black forest ham.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be the last of the international playboys.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Marzipan.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be the American adaptation of the British Gus.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be the third Thompson Twin with the dreads.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be the iiiiiiit in wait for iiiiiiiiiit.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be Nick Cage's accent in Con Air.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be Leon from the Like a Prayer video, or anything for that matter.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be Topher Grace running on the beach at the end of In Good Company.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be a giant snapping turtle.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be a Traveling Wildbury.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be the ribs that flipped over Fred Flintstone's car.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be principle AND interest.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be all, I am not gonna fall for the banana in the tailpipe.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be the sock that got lost in the dryer.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be a rotten pineapple.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be the one game at Chuck E. Cheese that isn't broken.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be a Whacked Wombat.
• Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be the only black lead on a major cable network.

233 notes